This just in : NEW VIRUS WARNING
If you receive an e-mail with a subject line of "Badtimes,"
delete it immediately WITHOUT reading it. This is the most dangerous Email
virus yet.
It will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, but it will scramble any
disks that are even close to your computer. It will recalibrate your
refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream melts and milk curdles
. It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, reprogram your
ATM access code, screw up the tracking on your VCR and use subspace field
harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play.
It will give your ex-boy/girlfriend your new phone number. It will mix
antifreeze into your fish tank. It will drink all your beer and leave its
dirty socks on the coffee table when there's company coming over.
It will hide your car keys when you are late for work and interfere with
your car radio so that you hear only static while stuck in traffic.
Badtimes will make you fall in love with a hardened pedophile. It will
give you nightmares about circus midgets. It will replace your shampoo with
Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all while dating your current
boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing their hotel rendezvous to your
Visa card.
It will seduce your grandmother. It does not matter if she is dead, such
is the power of Badtimes, it reaches out beyond the grave to sully those
things we hold most dear.
Badtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the toilet seat
up and leave the hairdryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub.
It will wantonly remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows,
and refill your skim milk with whole. It is insidious and subtle. It is
dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of
mauve.
These are just a few signs.
Be very, very afraid.
PLEASE FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!!!
VirusCentral
