| NEW | Different color from previous design |
| ALL NEW | Parts not interchangeable with previous design |
| EXCLUSIVE | Imported product |
| UNMATCHED | Almost as good as the competition |
| DESIGNED SIMPLICITY | Manufacturer's cost cut to the bone |
| FOOLPROOF OPERATION | No provision for adjustments |
| ADVANCED DESIGN | The advertising agency doesn't understand it |
| IT'S HERE AT LAST! | Rush job; Nobody knew it was coming |
| FIELD-TESTED | Manufacturer lacks test equipment |
| HIGH ACCURACY | Unit on which all parts fit |
| DIRECT SALES ONLY | Factory had big argument with distributor |
| YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT | We finally got one that works |
| REVOLUTIONARY | It's different from our competitors |
| BREAKTHROUGH | We finally figured out a way to sell it |
| FUTURISTIC | No other reason why it looks the way it does |
| DISTINCTIVE | A different shape and color than the others |
| MAINTENANCE-FREE | Impossible to fix |
| RE-DESIGNED | Previous faults corrected, we hope... |
| HAND-CRAFTED | Assembly machines operated without gloves |
| PERFORMANCE PROVEN | Will operate through the warranty period |
| MEETS ALL STANDARDS | Ours, not yours |
| ALL SOLID-STATE | Heavy as Hell! |
| BROADCAST QUALITY | Gives a picture and produces noise |
| HIGH RELIABILITY | We made it work long enough to ship it |
| SMPTE BUS COMPATIBLE | When completed, will be shipped by Greyhound |
| NEW GENERATION | Old design failed, maybe this one will work |
| MIL-SPEC COMPONENTS | We got a good deal at a government auction |
| CUSTOMER SERVICE ACROSS THE COUNTRY |
You can return it from most airports |
| UNPRECEDENTED PERFORMANCE | Nothing we ever had before worked THIS way |
| BUILT TO PRECISION TOLERANCES |
We finally got it to fit together |
| SATISFACTION GUARANTEED | Manufacturer's, upon cashing your check |
| MICROPROCESSOR CONTROLLED | Does things we can't explain |
| AEROSPACE TECHNOLOGY | One of our techs was laid off by Boeing |
[All jokes are believed to be in the public domain. If you feel one of these belongs to you, please let us know the details and we will either remove the material or provide a link at your request.]
Unless otherwise noted, all photos and text is Copyright © Richard G Lowe, Jr.