Are you terrified of your computer? Do you feel out of place
and overwhelmed when your friends or coworkers start spouting reams and
reams of technical jargon that you will never understand? Then this article
is for you! We'll help you get over your fear of technical terminology by
tickling your funny bone. We'll start with some definitions that SHOULD be
true, and we hope are entertaining.
486 - The average IQ needed to understand a P.C.
State-of-the-art - Any computer you can't afford.
Obsolete - Any computer you own.
Microsecond - The time it takes for your
State-of-the-art-computer to become obsolete.
Syntax Error - Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no
object.
GUI (pronounced gooey) - What your computer becomes after
spilling your coffee on it.
Computer Chip - Any starchy food stuff consumed in mass
quantities while programming.
Keyboard - The standard way to generate computer errors.
Mouse - An advanced input device to make computer errors
easier to generate.
Floppy - The state of your wallet after purchasing a
computer.
Hard Drive - The sales technique employed by computer
salesmen.
Portable Computer - A device invented to force businessmen
to work at home, on vacation and on business trips.
Disk Crash - A typical computer response to any critical
deadline.
Power User - Anyone who can format a disk from DOS.
System Update - A quick method of trashing ALL of your
software.
